My doctor said it was just my age. It wasn't. It was what my estrogen stopped doing.
At 44, the top of my head started to show. Two doctors, a shelf of oils and a year later, here's what nobody explained to me, and the one thing I do every morning now.
October 2026 · 8 min read
It was the light in the church bathroom. You know the one, straight down from the ceiling. I leaned in to fix my edges before service, and I saw my scalp. Not at my edges. At the top of my head.
I stood there with my hand on the sink until somebody knocked. Then I went back to my seat and didn't hear a word of the sermon.
That was two years ago. I was 44.
"It's just your age, baby."
That's what my aunt said. My girlfriends said it too, nicer. My doctor said it in a different way: my bloodwork was normal, my thyroid was normal, my iron was fine. "Some thinning is normal at this stage." Then she moved on to my blood pressure.
So I did what we all do. I bought things. Jamaican black castor oil. Rosemary oil. Batana. Biotin gummies. Edge drops. A month of Nutrafol. I moved my part an inch to the left. I set my twists higher at the crown. On Sundays I wore a headwrap and told everybody I liked the look.
The part I didn't say out loud
My mother wore a wig from the time she was 50. I didn't know why until last Thanksgiving, when she took it off in front of me for the first time in fifteen years. Same part as mine. Same crown.
Driving home, my daughter asked me from the passenger seat: "Mama, is that going to happen to me?"
I didn't have an answer. I just knew I didn't want it to be "yes".
What the second doctor explained
In January I finally saw a dermatologist, a Black woman who sees a lot of hair like ours. She didn't touch a single bottle. She asked me one question: "When did it start, compared to your periods changing?" Then she explained something nobody had told me in two years.
What happens after 40, in plain words
Your body always makes a little DHT, a hormone that can shrink the hair root. For most of our lives, estrogen keeps it in check. Around perimenopause, estrogen drops. DHT stays. And at the top of the head, where the roots are most sensitive to it, the root slowly gets smaller. The hair it makes gets thinner and shorter, until you can see your scalp.
The root isn't dead. It's shrinking. That's the good news, and it's also why timing matters.
Then she said the sentence I keep thinking about: "Most of what's on your shelf goes on top of your scalp. This is happening underneath."
That's why my oils felt nice and changed nothing. That's why biotin didn't help: I was never low in biotin. And that's why it started at my crown and not my edges.
She also drew me a little circle on the paper on her desk. I took a picture of it.
The circle she drew
- The crown thins, so you hide it: tighter styles, higher twists, glue, a wig.
- The hiding adds tension on roots that are already shrinking.
- The roots shrink faster. You hide more.
- Wait long enough, and some roots scar. Then nothing brings them back.
"You're not too late," she told me. "But don't wait another two years."
Why I looked at the DHT side, not another oil
I asked her what works on that side. She talked about prescription options, and she was honest about them: some need to be taken for life, some aren't for every woman, and minoxidil goes on your scalp every day. Then she mentioned that some of her patients use two plants studied for the DHT side: saw palmetto and pumpkin seed oil, both studied for how they may help on the DHT side.
So I read labels, a lot of them. Most bottles I found either buried those two plants inside twenty other ingredients at tiny doses, or came with high-dose biotin, or wanted four big capsules a day for $88 a month.
The one I ended up with is called Oren. Here's why, in the order it mattered to me.
- 2,000 mg of cold-pressed pumpkin seed oil and 200 mg of saw palmetto, written on the label. No blend, no mystery.
- No biotin, so my next blood work stayed honest.
- Two small softgels with breakfast. I'd quit Nutrafol over four big ones.
- Nothing on my scalp. My twists, my wig and my wash day stayed exactly the same.
- Under $50 a month, less than the edge drops I used to buy.
Sold on their own site. Ships from Iowa. 90-day refund, even on an opened bottle.
What actually happened
I want to be honest, because I hate it when people say something changed their life in a week.
Weeks one and two: nothing. Week four: the little ball of hair in the shower drain was smaller. I'd been taking a photo of it every wash day, so I could see it, not just hope it.
Week ten: my stylist stopped with the comb in her hand and asked what I was doing different. "Less is coming out." She noticed before I did.
Month four: in my Sunday photos, there was fuzz along my part where there had been skin. Short, soft, but there.
It's not a miracle and it's not fast. It's the first thing in two years that went in the right direction. Results vary, and yours may look different.
Before & after, from Oren's site · swipe →
Before & after photos shared on Oren's site. Results vary.
It stops with me
Last week my daughter sat on the edge of the tub while I took my Sunday photo. She asked what I was doing. I showed her the first photo and the new one, side by side.
She was quiet, and then she said: "So it doesn't have to happen."
No, baby. Not like it did for Grandma. It stops with me.
If you're over 40 and the top of your head is starting to show, I'm not going to tell you what to buy. I'll tell you what I wish someone had told me two years ago: it's not just your age, it's happening at the root, and the sooner you start, the more you have to work with.
See if Oren is right for you →Under $50 a month · 90-day refund, even on an opened bottle.
Questions I get
How long before I see something?
For me: less in the drain around week four, my stylist noticed around week ten, fuzz along my part around month four. Judge it at three months, not before.
What happens if I stop?
Honestly: shedding that comes from DHT can come back when you stop anything that works on that side. That's true of the prescriptions too. That's why the price mattered to me: under $50 a month is something I can keep doing.
Will it make hair grow on my face?
There's no minoxidil in it, and nothing goes on your skin.
I'm after menopause, not before. Is it too late?
A shrinking root isn't a dead root. A scarred one is. If your scalp is smooth and shiny where the hair is gone, see a dermatologist first.
Does it work on edges?
If years of tension or glue pulled your edges out at the root, no supplement brings them back. It's made for the crown and the part that thin out from the inside.